Tuesday, December 27, 2011


Within the murky waterways of the bayou lies a delicate ecosystem of life. Critters (humans included) who call the Gulf of Mex their home have endured some bodacious ravagings from both man and Mother Nature. The latest potential threat to the scene comes in the freaky form of HUMUNGOUS ASIAN PRAWNS.

That can't be real.

These colossal asshole prawns feed on pink and brown shrimp as well as crabs and oysters. All of said species are VERY important to commercial fishing in the Gulf. You should also note that these big creeps are disease ridden and contagious to other animals in their environment.

Oh freaky new prawn, you're as big as a lobster
You're a bully, a glutton and I dare say a mobster
Your color is the darkest of darkish red BLOOD
Just waiting to strike your next kill in the mud

-poem by GTFB

Only a few of these bastards have been found so far, when they find the 60th idiot prawn they will have enough evidence to believe they are a serious invasive species threat to the Gulf. 

Some humans believe the new jerks on the block are escapees from aquaculture farms in Central America, others believe they were introduced to the Gulf by some creative geniuses who just like to eat giant prawns more than the native species. Either way, not a great situation.

"Heya Lloyd, Whaddaya say we take these invasive prawns down to the bayou and set them free?"

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