Clupea Harengus means Herring. OH JOY!

Creamed Herring sounds like a GOOD TIME to you? That is super!

Otters  enjoy creamed herring on special occasions.

For relaxation purposes, I enjoy smoking a nice big herring. I pretend that I am in Norway and I dive into a pile of kippered herring which gets my blood flowing straight towards magnetic North. In the Philippines they eat it their clupe harengus dried whole with eggs and garlic, extra-extra garlic. Sometimes herrings come in a jug floating around in juices of red wine. Whatever! Herring is high as a kite in Omega-3's, which is good for your noggin. Eat sh*t-loads of it and use you newly formed braincells to stop copying recipes and think up your own 2012 herring-vention!

Now you got a brane so use it.

Herring is a anadromous, mid-water species which is caught around the world but also in the North Atlantic by trawlers. Some small scale fishermen continue to harvest the tricky way using a purse seine. They have to do it at night when the fish use their highly evolved eyeballs to stalk drifting zooplanktons. THAT SOUNDS OLD SCHOOL, DOESN'T IT? BALLER.

then...

...now

Guess what else is baller: Herring is a wicked well-managed fishery that is not overfished and overfishing is not occurring. Ever heard of whitebait? Those are baby herrings. Fry them and skewer them, you might make some new friends.

Look at these guys, they would eat herring.

$736,000 Tuna Time in Japan

Kiyoshi Kimura, president of the Sushi Zanmai restaurant chain was Japan's Big Sugar Daddy this past week when he purchased the worlds most expensive Bluefin Tuna at Tsujiki Market in Tokyo. The 593 lb beast was caught off the coast of Northern Japan in an area called Oma. Oma was ravaged by last years Tsunami. 

This fish was a whopper and the meat was luscious grade 1+ with beautiful red coloring and a high fat content. Even still, $1,293 US buckaroos per lb, yes PER LB is not considered the real market value for such an animal. Celebrity hoopla surrounding the first tuna auction of the year influenced the astronomic selling price. High roller Kiyoshi also stated that purchasing this $736,000 tuna was his way of contributing positively to the Japanese economy. Pieces of this tuna sashimi were sold at $5.45 on Thursday, a fraction of their market value. 

Watch this awesome video where a very pleased fish cutter uses what appears to be a samurai sword to divvy up the fish. Prepare yourself for some dramatic Japanese hooting and hollering!

DID YOU KNOW?

Tunas, like sharks and mackerels are WARM BLOODED fishes. The warm sanguini regulates their body temp making it possible for them to travel throughout a diverse range of water temperatures.

EVER WONDER how the experts grade tuna? Check out this informational link about tuna quality grading systems.

BLOOD RED WITH FATTY TISSUE, DEEELISH!

An Arm and a Leg for a Scallop.

Did somebody say SEA SCALLOPS? 

In this day and age prices are at RECORD HIGHS.

She loves her scallops, and she's got a BAD CASE of the GOUT.

Various factors have contributed to this gnarly price spike which will be passed along allllll the way to YOU the consumer. Limited supply of local sea scallops have pushed the price skyward and interestingly enough, the lasting effects of the tsunami and earthquake in Japan have made them a less aggressive contributor to the US Market.

By now you must be really tired of me bitchin' and carryin' on about high prices, natural disasters, climate change and saving the most endangered species of all, the fishermen. I don't blame you, I can be a real pain in the ass.

Just don't let this itty-bitty price-y thing-y get you down. The scallop cloud has a huge silver lining: local scallop fishermen are getting paid well for their harvest and WE LIKE THAT because we want them to stay in business.

Local Homeless gets paid in Sea Scallops.

If you find yourself in the shits, buy lobsters instead! Lobbie-Lobs are cheap right now, but remember Scallops Are Great and you should continue to eat them too.

SCOMBER SCOMBRUS - Atlantic Mackerel

The year flashes before our eyes and another round of impossible resolutions invade our thoughts. I'm gonna work less than 80 hours a week, I'm gonna stop eating lemon merengue bon-bons at 4am,  I'm gonna stop biting my co-workers when they piss me off... 

Strive to be more like Peg Bundy in 2012.

These are impossible resolutions! Get over it and resolve to accomplish something you can really stick with this year:

Include more sustainable seafood species in your menu.

SO, what fishery is local, in season and not desecrating the environment?

THE EASTERN ATLANTIC MACKEREL FISHERY OF COURSE!

 They shine like silver and are stiff as a board when they are fresh. 

Not only are the Atlantic Mackerels NOT being overfished, their population estimates are currently 267% OVER target level. For those of you who suck at math, allow me to clarify: That is A SHITLOAD!

According to my calculations, it's a shitload.

These incredible Mackerels are usually caught with mid-water trawl gear. The nets used to harvest macks do not touch the ocean floor and hence are not MURDER-Y to beloved underwater habitats that many other fish species call home. 

Boston Macks are cheap and easy, making them Fish-Babe approved. You can serve 'em raw or cook 'em whole (about 3-4 macks per #). 

If you get bored, put these suckers into your pipe and smoke 'em! 

Literally. Smoke the Mackerel, it's delicious.

Smoke Mack with your Mother.

Boston Mackerels are absurdly high in omega-3's, they also contain so much vitamin B12 it's stupid.

Mackerels provide us with significant levels of Phosphatidylserine, a wicked important brain food that can have positive effects on both ADHD and Alzheimers patients. I should take my own advice and eat more macky-mack...NOW WHERE WAS I?

Oh yeah, Mackerels... Now buy 'em and fry 'em. 

Good luck and may the cash flow like the beer in 2012!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

COLOSSAL PRAWN GULF INVASION

Within the murky waterways of the bayou lies a delicate ecosystem of life. Critters (humans included) who call the Gulf of Mex their home have endured some bodacious ravagings from both man and Mother Nature. The latest potential threat to the scene comes in the freaky form of HUMUNGOUS ASIAN PRAWNS.

WHOA NELLY!

That can't be real.

These colossal asshole prawns feed on pink and brown shrimp as well as crabs and oysters. All of said species are VERY important to commercial fishing in the Gulf. You should also note that these big creeps are disease ridden and contagious to other animals in their environment.

Oh freaky new prawn, you're as big as a lobster
You're a bully, a glutton and I dare say a mobster
Your color is the darkest of darkish red BLOOD
Just waiting to strike your next kill in the mud

-poem by GTFB

Only a few of these bastards have been found so far, when they find the 60th idiot prawn they will have enough evidence to believe they are a serious invasive species threat to the Gulf. 

Some humans believe the new jerks on the block are escapees from aquaculture farms in Central America, others believe they were introduced to the Gulf by some creative geniuses who just like to eat giant prawns more than the native species. Either way, not a great situation.

"Heya Lloyd, Whaddaya say we take these invasive prawns down to the bayou and set them free?"
"GREAT IDEA HARRY!"

8 Fishy Ways to Entertain on New Years Eve!

What's more fun than ringing in the New Year with a glass of expensive champagne and crisp raw oyster in yer gullet? Nothing really. Even still, it is important to keep the food and drink selection funky fresh while you ball out 'til the ball drops. Here are a few suggestions from my mother Sabrina's kitchen. She is a seasoned entertainer so get with her program and you will not disappoint. 

Who will you smack gills with in 2012?!

1)  Clams Casino - THE BEST APPETIZER EV-ER. Keep it simple with just a small piece of bread, a sprig or two of parsley a teeny-tiny (less is more) piece-ola of yer finest bacon and a squirt of lemon. Don't get crazy or creative, stick to my recipe and badabing-badaboom you are in business.

2) Bay Scallops ( or something else) Wrapped in Bacon - If your bank account can't handle scallops, opt for pickled watermelon rinds wrapped in bacon.  The pickled watermelon rind brings forth enough sweet, salty and sticky element to mesh like a pro with a small piece of  bacon. hold it all together with a toothpick. 'Tis Good.

SEE HOW TINY THESE BAY SCALLOPS ARE? THAT'S WASSUP.
also, note the tiny tinnyyyyyyy pieces of bacon. That there is the ratio you are looking for.

Pickled watermelon rinds wrapped in bacon.

3) Oyster Soup - This is a classic New Year's favorite from my Uncle Tom. The ingredients include fresh shucked East-Coast oysters in their juices, cream, butter, salt and pepper to taste. Don't overcook. Add more butter and more cream until it seems ridiculous. 

WAH-LAH, pass the Lactaid.

4) Chilled Lobster Legs - A fun way to spruce up the raw bar: Collect the lobster legs off of the lobsters you cook for dinner and chill them on ice. Your guests will appreciate the ingenuity and they will also appreciate having to work to suck the meat out. Keeps calories down when mindlessly gnoshing and chatting.

Recognize these guys?
Now stop bein' a fool and add them to your raw bar.
Some purveyors freeze them and sell them by the lb. as lobster legs or lobster spaghetti.

5) Illegally Harvested Cranberry Infused Vodka - Cape Cod at its best. Go to an abandoned cranberry bog, harvest some berries and add them to vodka or grain alcohol (if your state sells it). Allow the tincture to soak as long as possible (weeks, months, whatever) and then make cran-tini's. 

6) MASSIVE Shrimp Cocktail Plate - Cocktail sauce should include ONLY horseradish (tons), ketchup (minimal) and lemon (tons). That's the ratio, it never gets old.

Fear not frozen shrimp. Most of it has been frozen at some point anyways. Freezing
 actually enhances the shrimp's texture. Also, please stay classy and peel and devein the shrimps yourself.

7) Fried Small Whole Fish - Horse Mackerels are Fish Babe preferred, but smelts work.

Make sure the fish are wicked fresh and try not to burn yourself during the frying process.
This was the Horse Mackerel at Kyo Ya in the East Village, NYC.

8) A Cold Jug of Water - No Brainer. Use a fancy schmancy water jug like this classic from Sabrina's kitchen. 

Water will sober up the drunkies enough to send them home after the party. You have limited couch real-estate after all. 

Don't wake up on New Year's Day to the horrific sounds of Wild Pete snoring away on your couch in his hot-dog suit and his new girlfriend puking in your toilet. Give your guests the H20 they need to pass the breathalyzer and GO HOME.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL THE FISH IN THE SEA.

Keep the clams cookin,' the nog flowin,'and 

the yule-tide Valium close at hand!

Love,