Too hard for a softshell.

Softshell crab season is here and it's playing with your emotions again; a monsoon of pleasure and pain. You love those softies, and you could ALMOST get over their outrageously "too-early-in-the-season" high price, if that was the only issue gnawing at your heart. You look at the sweet crabs nestled together in their little box of hay. Cute... until you rub eyeballs with a goner. This type of encounter is like a one way ticket to horror-world. When you try to return the cadaver to your fish purveyor you are MOCKED (just kidding, but we do not accept returns on dead softies). Your alternative might be a soft-shell that's too hard for your liking... But by serving these hard-bodied imposters you run the risk of impaling a client's mouth, causing a grizzly scene in the middle of service. I would classify a grim situation of this nature as a MAJOR BUMMER. Avoid it at all costs.
So...what to do, what to do? I have the answer to your prayers: Buy FROZEN, CLEANED softshells for half the price as the live "liability" crabs. These crabs hail from Pamlico Sound, North Carolina. They have a 100% yield and they are frozen (right after being caught) by an elderly woman who has been cleaning and freezing soft shell blue crabs for a very, very long time. You want to know something crazy? You can even put these buggers on your menu, because we have plenty in stock every single day! Isn't that exciting?

Jumbos: 40$ a dozen
Primes: 32$ a dozen
Piece of mind: Priceless

Lil' Miss Crab Freezer