WHAT IN CLAM-NATION?

Size Counts: THE TRUE BREAKDOWN

The smallest legal sized quahogs are one-inchers, the littlenecks. A small step larger and you have cherrystones, topped by the top-necks (aka countnecks) and all the way up to the Large Marge's of the bunch the CHOWDER CLAMS. 

Quahogs are hard shelled as opposed to
soft shell clams aka steamers.

Quahogs are filter feeding creatures that purify our coastal areas most abundantly from Cape Cod to New Jersey. Water is taken in through a siphon at which point plankton and other matter is passed over the gills of the animal and into it's stomach. The filtered water is then expelled via another siphon. A large clam can filter about a gallon of water in one hour. What is more sustainable than that? YOU TELL ME.

 

Maybe you think clams are boring. Guess what? THEY'RE NOT. There are no boring clams. Does this look boring to you? 

Wampum Jewelry
in it's natural habitat.

At one time, you could pay your tuition at Harvard University with Wampum:

Veritas Clam-neritas Alumnus
Pay us en Wampum-itus

While preparing this seasonal staple I have one piece of advice to you is to KEEP IT REAL.

The competition is stiff out there and the best chance you have at survival is makin' it original. Look at this friggen' guy:

He is rich, he has tons of wampum and he's wearing antlers for god's sake, he looks amazing. Despite the fact that he's probably one nut short of a full holiday fruit cake, he is KILLIN' it because he is doin' his own thang.  

  

Bust out a little Old World Flava into yo' dish and make a linguini with clam sauce. Or go RAW: Clams on the half shell are always appreciated during the holidays. Don't forget to keep the cocktail sauce extra spicy. 

Santa loves a hot clam!

Somebody please give me a HOT CLAM!

I'm turning into such a fat shit off 

these cookies and milk...