Trips and Dips - OYSTERS

Turns out that when the old hags were squabbling on about eating oysters exclusively during the months that end in R, they were actually onto something.

Oysters go dormant during the cold winter; the time of year when they are the firmest, fattest, most translucent and most palatable. Upon awaking from their long frozen coma they like to get down to business and spawn (sometime between May and September in the northern hemisphere). Consequentially, raw bars across the land are left relatively high and dry for significant stretch of time.

Human beings by nature are both curious and demanding, which is why we have once again manipulated the PACHA MAMA and created the amazing, albeit very strange, triploid oyster.

"Mildred, Good Grief! If you don't believe me then look it up! They call 'em TRIPLOIDS!!"

Triploids have an extra chromosome and are created by breeding 4n chromosome tetraploid Pacific oysters with regular 2n chromosome diploid Pacific oysters. The result is a veritable eunuch of an oyster with small genitals that don't work. Cool!

Cool or not for the oyster, this keeps our stocks of Eagle Rock (British Columbia) and Barron Point (Little Skookum Inlet, Washington State) oysters at full force when it's hot and bothersome outside.

When even a triploid doesn't cut it for your standard of oyster firmness you may resort to the world famous Kumomoto oysters raised in Humbolt, California. Kumos are warm water oysters living in a cold dark world. They stay firm and plump all year and they never "do it" because they are simply too cold up there in NorCal.

"Duuuudddeee these Kumos would go AWESOME with some potato chips, and maybe some Funyuns and one of those weird rice crispy treat thingys the dude on the couch always makes, yeaa haha..."

Nobody ever told you that summertime was oystertime, but if you must indulge, save yourself a gross experience and rip into a trip or a dip.